Over and done.

A chapter of my life has finally come to a closure. The scoreboard read "2-3" ytd. PLTT bdiv lost to stnics. I'm really not crying over the loss but because of the fact that i could have done better. First set 1-11, i wasn't scared. Second set 7-11, i was still hopeful. Third set, i carried the name of PL and continued fighting. But the cold hard truth prevails, my opponent and i were in different leagues. She was on no.1 form, a ball as low as 2cm, she could still spin it up.

Wahhhhhhh florence you zai (i'm not saying this in a sarcastic tone okay!). If ever you come across this, your spin is damn monstrous!!! I'll perfect my defence and hopefully we'll meet again next year, and you'll be officially my opponent of 3 years. Lost twice but it'll be a hard fight during the 3rd clash! You are my motivation hahahaha this is getting crappy okay stop.

So now i feel like a plain clothed policeman. Today was the first time i went home at 2pm, i felt really really lost. I was even hoping someone will hold me back and keep me in school till 5/6. Afternoon naps are gonna be rampant from now on. I've no idea how much i'm going to miss training, usual 3 times a week to nothing at all. Table tennis trg has always been my solace. It's only during table tennis trg i feel exclusively relaxed even though we have to live up to myriad expectations. It's like personal time with myself and of course, the team.

A sudden pang of regret hit me yesterday. I regret being so mean to all my juniors due to their attitude at times. I regret not being closer to them, not being caring enough, not being understanding enough. I regret not being a better vice capt. (JUNIORS PLEASE TELL ME YOU FEEL OTHERWISE HAHAHA) Ahhhh i think imma senior from hell (please, this is just an expression).

I hate and am ashamed to admit it but table tennis is truly my priority, not studies. It was never studies. Now i'm compelled to studying, and nothing else. No distractions, no burdens, no obstacles, no obstructions, no restrains, no restrictions (my english command damn good HAHA). So what have i to complain about? Once mid years start, everything will take a 180deg turn. All the exams will begin streaming in one by one. Soon it'll be the half year mark. Terrifying sia.

It's this certain bond i have with PLTT. 7 years you know SEVEN YEARS. Yes, 7 years with Mr Kim too (must be solemn, cannot use KJK). I can't believe it ends just like that. Gonna miss the high class balls (we use all 3 star please, the max! hotel 6 star, table tennis ball 3 star). Everytime we go for comp, we'd lose loads of balls even though we label them cos other schools take them upon realisation they are THREE STAR balls which cost a freaking dollar for each. Last week we bought a new box- $90. CANYOUBELIEVEIT, 90 BUCKS FOR A BOX OF BALLS. Nvm school's money which is our money omg cries.

Shit i'm not gonna win emo-post-of-the-century award because i'm nowhere near emo, everything's getting funny -_- objective not met wahlao eh. The "feel" has subsided already argh i'm never gonna succeed being an emo kid HAHAHA.

Thank God for REW, everything suppressed within me came out. All the emo songs, tell us not to be emo but still sing emo songs haha. My life till this point has been wonderful albeit all the inner strives i've encountered. One last battle/ showdown of my secondary school life to conquer. I can make it, you can make it!

Right, now this has become inspirational. From emo to inspirational (Y). I'll be back again with an emo-er post.